Sex·u·al·i·ty and Spir·it·u·al·i·ty
Photo from my sister studying abroad in Paris.
I am spiritual, yes, but I am also sexual. I am a woman who is attracted to the inner workings of others, not just what they present on the outside, no matter the “classification”.
So when I think about what it means to be a sexual being and what sexuality is I cannot see it in terms of just physical. I see it in terms of purely spiritual now. I am looking at this from an aspect of what serves the spirit, intellect, and your sexual desires.
We are sexual beings and sometimes physical attraction can supersede your best judgment. Being self-aware makes it difficult to give into those ideas about sex that used to drive you. Spirit/soul, whatever you call it, is genderless. It is a compilation of everything but gender. Every person has both masculine and feminine energy in them which is what their spirit may present. For a lack of better words, the spirit wants what serves it.
As you go through your journey and begin to heal those parts of you that determined how you looked at sex and relationships, you will see that although someone is highly attractive, if it doesn’t feed that spirit, then it stops at the attraction.
It is nearly impossible to force yourself to be attracted to what doesn’t serve you when you are on your path to ascension. Your body will not experience arousal the same. Physical touch will not feel as heightened unless your spirit is moved. It will be difficult to fuck dummies. I am being quite frank here but people will not be able to lure you in by just their outer appearance.
I am not saying that you will only be sexually aroused by someone you love but I am saying that your arousal will come from the spirit to the flesh. Discernment is the key here. Use your light to figure out what serves your sexual urges.
I have a task for you all this week that may or may not push boundaries. I encourage you all to try intentional masturbation.
Here is my take on what it is and how it works:
Intentional masturbation is something that I roughly coined myself. I am not the first person to think of it, I am sure, but I stand by it. It is setting intentions prior to arousal and manifesting during orgasm. It involves setting the mood. Scents are super important. If you are prone to nervousness when masturbating, I suggest lavender for it’s calming factors. Once you begin your session focus on how your body feels and listen to it. When you are about to climax, stop. Mimic the concept of edging. As you begin to edge allow your intentions to come back and as you climax release that intention.
I believe this form of arousal allows you to fully be in tune with what your body wants while also being in tune with what the spirit wants. The climax allows you to release not only physically but spiritually which provides a natural high feeling.
I used this method a lot during the healing process of my sacral chakra and heart chakra. It helped me do a lot of healing. Most of my intentions were centered about sexuality, trauma, and releasing what no longer served me.
I suggest this to most of my clients because it can promote clear and healthy decisions, especially sexually.
What are your thoughts on spiritual vs physical attraction? Do you feel like you can differentiate between the two? Comment below, tweet me, or email me your thoughts.
I want us all to have better sex with people who serve our spirits.
Come shine with me!
*I am doing a birthday giveaway. Here are the rules.
Go Outside
Being self-aware is bittersweet. Sweet because you get to grow and evolve, change your school of thought, and really understand whom you are. Bitter because shit ain’t always love & light, rainbows & butterflies, or easy.
The journey to being self-aware is exhausting & exposing. It can seem like you can’t catch a break. The healing journey never ends and that is what makes being self-aware so important. Being self-aware allows you to look at yourself in a mirror and be honest. It pushes you to think through things and to be able to identify your triggers. Being self-aware allows you to reach a higher consciousness of who you are.
Over the last few weeks, the word “baggage” kept coming up. I was involved in situations where others projected their own problems onto me and attempted to leave their problems at my feet. In the words of the late great Mac Dre, it is “not my job” to deal with your problems in that capacity. These bags that we carry around prevent us from reaching that level of self-awareness that is important to grow. They prevent us from moving forward.
I had a shit ton of bags on me. I had bags full of horrible things that happened to me and things that I had done that I wasn’t so proud. I projected those emotions and that pain onto others and out into the world. I was not self-aware because I was not doing the work to work through my past problems. I was simply ignoring them and allowing them to tell me who I was.
My self-awareness stemmed from a few things – therapy, healing sessions, crystal healing, oracle/tarot readings, and exhaustion. I was tired of carrying not only those bags but also the burdens that came with having them. I wanted to feel lighter and be able to find my own inner peace & happiness.
Now, I am self-aware. It is an everyday process but I have my “toolkit” to keep me in check. I revisit old journal writings and see where I have grown. I listen to certain songs to see what emotions they provoke and dissect the memories attached to them. When I feel myself getting anxious about the past I talk myself through it with questions like “why do you feel this way?”, “What does anxiety feel like right now?”, “What does your breathing feel like?”, “What sounds do you hear/what do you see?” in order to ground me. The biggest self-check tool is paying attention to how I handle things. Am I being reactive in a way that does not serve me? Am I approaching the situation with grace? Those two questions let me know if I am embodying old habits or embracing new ways of thinking.
Grace is what keeps me from projecting past pain onto others. Grace is what guides me through my day-to-day interactions with others. Compassion also assists in how I handle myself and how I embrace those around me.
Self-awareness is about reaching a point where you can look in the mirror and say, “this is who I am and that’s okay”. It is reaching the highest form of you. It is self-love in my opinion.
This past Sunday I went on a nature hike at Rock Creek Park and I sat by a body of water. I sat and I talked and I listened. I took in the sounds around me, I studied the way the water moved, I even acknowledged the way my body felt in that element. Here are some photos from that hike.
I encourage you to shine your light in nature this week. Find a park, trail, or sit on your front steps. Take a journal or your notes section in your phone and identify what you see, feel, hear, etc. Identify what parts of your surrounding align with who you are. Does the sound of cars passing remind you of how busy you are? Can you hear the tree leaves moving? Take the time to go outside and inhale the fresh air.